An Open Letter
Stay chaotic, for our sakes.
Over the past couple of million years we’ve evolved our big brains to combat the issues of ascertaining food and safety in nature. Due to increased survivability because of this trait, our brain’s size continued in an upward trend.
As our grey-matter grew we curiously began to complicate life in various ways. We began to cultivate food in farm settings, developed notions of culture and religion, and began attempting to control one another.
All of these advances in our physical and mental toils has mysteriously caused our life expectancies to grow. So not only were we surviving better through self-domestication but we were living longer too. The presence of these hardships in our society grew rapidly through both genetic and memetic propagation over a very short amount of time. As it did our lives grew longer and more intricate…
Flash a few thousand years and now we have Scientology, Bureaucracy, and the Tea Party; evolutionary masterpieces! We have a culture and system of self-management so maligned towards us that we literally dread the very rules we create (Taxes, am I right?).
Nobody enjoys any of this, but it must remain. We’ve evolved a capacity for the insane and mismanaged. We live longer today than ever before and it is clear that it has something to do with our lives being miserably complex and hard.
So government, on this election day I am writing you to say we don’t need you to work across the aisle, limit government reach, or vow to stop crime. Our biology demands things be overly wordy, difficult, and frustrating to ensure our maximum life. Please continue marginalizing minority groups, fighting amongst yourselves, and guest-starring on The View.
Thank you and God bless.
A Concerned Citizen